Thursday, March 3, 2011

2nd Place!

RECAP

The Bruins cranked out their 7th straight win and I'm pretty sure they get balls back until they miss at this point. The Lightning came into the garden with an identical record as the Bs so the win gave us sole possession of 2nd place for the moment and clinched the season tie break with Tampa 3-1. And with Philly losing we are only 3 pts out of first place. I'm not trying to get greedy, the 1st seed didn't help us out much two years ago, but its nice to stay up there with the tops of the league.

This game was hard fought and scrappy, a little more than I thought it was going to be. Tampa went up 1-0 in the second on an Eric Brewer goal and it stayed that way for two minutes until Kamfer tied it up with a slapshot that went straight through from the point on assists from Kelly and Peverley in their home debut. It took a lot to beat Smith tonight, who had 26 saves, and thats exactly how you would describe the game winner, a lot. Lucic and Krejci worked a nice one two entering the zone, Lucic carried behind the net and found Horton who fired one on goal. Then there was a four car pile up in front of Smith with Horton and Krejci fighting for the loose puck. Finally it squirted out right and Lucic picked it up on the other side of the net right on the goal line and fired a no angle shot into the cage to win it. That line has been great and they really fought hard for that goal.

Thomas played strongly again with 27 saves of his own. There game got chippy in the third period with a couple scrapes here and there. The Bs still couldn't find the net on a powerplay but the special teams play wasn't all bad with a massive 2 minute 5 on 3 kill that helped keep the game in balance.

Kamfer did leave the game in the second period with an injury which sucks. I just commented on how it was ok that Ference went down because we had a defender to spare. That is no longer the case so I hope Kamfer is alright. I love they way he plays even those his time has been cut a little shorter recently.

Seguin was a healthy scratch tonight which was too bad. He had been holding on to that 10 minute per game level for the last few contests but got the pine for this one. This is probably more of a sign of things to come compared to his recent play because this was more of a playoff atmosphere than Ottawa or Edmonton. I hope they can get enough confidence in him over the rest of the season to trust him to stay in the roster come playoff time.

Up next is the Pens who are still playing without Crosby, who must be dead right and they are just covering it up. Because he has been out forever for no apparent reason. Like he was going to crush the scoring title this year, pumping in goals at will, then decided to hang them up early.

Mannequin Prank


At the beginning of this video I didn't get what they were going to do so I thought this was probably going to be pretty stupid. Upon further review it was a money prank. Well executed, well planned, well timed. And thats all you can ask for. They are just lucky they didn't do this shit to me because I definitely would have tried to pick the head up, help someone out, but that would have scared the shit out of me. Like I mean I would have ripped the lady's head off her shoulders and then it would have been a whole law suit thing. Then I couldn't live with the blood on my hands and everything would have spiraled out of control. So, good thing it wasn't me.

Little Drummer Boy


At first I thought this was just great robot technology. It wouldn't stun me that we are advancing this fast. It looked real but was too good type thing. That has robot written all over it. But then he went to that drum roll on the cymbal thing too many times. Robots don't go to the well that much. So once I confirmed this was a real kid I realized that he is going to get so much ass if he plays this right. He has a ceiling and I hope he knows it. Hes got that X factor, but if he waits too long he is just going to be another asshole drummer in a band who demands vocals on the lesser tracks and doesn't talk much. But he could really put some miles on his tires if he stays at this  enough and stokes the flames early and often.

Cant stop wont stop


This is a couple years old but a classic Jeopardy moment. My question is this. At what point would Max have stopped having go's at this category. Like lets say that didn't stop at 1000. What if it just went on forever? Would Max have just kept throwing out wrong answer after wrong answer? How much money does Jeopardy let you lose before they have to step in? I love how its taking Kevin everything in him to not look to his right and smirk at Max, like why don't you pump the brakes homie I got this one. And what the fuck are you laughing at Erin, I haven't seen your hand on the buzzer all round. Get in the game.

knocked the fuck out



Nice extension on that high kick. Thats how you elevate. He fucking spun that guy into back in time like 3 seconds. Thats the only possible explanation right? I mean you need to drop dead when that connects, unless you have been shot back in time so it takes you 3 seconds to catch back up to the head shot. Its like his body still operated as he stumbled around the mat but his head knew he was done. So did the guy who kicked him. Fucking unfazed by the fake walk around like he was ok.


Delayed Reaction Faceplant KO - Watch more Funny Videos

Birds coming out of everywhere


Im not hating on this dude's technique. Its flawless. Hes got you looking right where you he needs to be the whole movie. Im just not that impressed with the tricks. I mean he starts with two birds up his sleeves. The candles twist at the bottom to make them collapse or stay up, and he pockets the bird at the end. Not trying to hate, I love this shit, its just not that tough to spot. I just can't figure it where he gets that third fucking bird. Like where was that mother fucker? I had this guy til that moment, I had him. Also, why don't the birds trip out while they are stuck in his clothes?

Celtics crush Suns in blown out of proportion game

RECAP

The Celtics blinded the Suns on Wednesday night. We were up 29 and then things got a little close in the 4th until we put them away. They climbed back because they are a high scoring team, we took the foot off the gas, and we were letting the backup trying to get some meaningless minutes. Not a trend we want to hold on to but a win is a win.

The first thing I want to bring up is no one gives a shit about Celtics/Suns including and especially the Celtics. Like yea KG sac tapped Frye last time we played then Gentry talked to some shit about him. Kevin wanted to play hard out here tonight, sure, but its not like he went home after last game in a blind rage and circled this one on his calendar. There is no rivalry here, no one cares. They are not good, we are. Thats the end of it.

But on the topic of KG, he had whatever the hell he wanted going to the basket. He finished with a season high 28 to go along with 11 boards. A strong game on both ends. Rondo went for 16 points and 15 assists and was dishing some world class passes early when we looked like a machine. Ray added 19, Paul 16 and 13, and Krstic went for 13 of his own who has continued to be a very nice surprise.

Murphy was getting his sea legs under him in this one, finishing without a bucket and 1pt. It will take some time for him to get his wind back, but I am psyched about that pick up. Same goes for Pavlovic. I look forward to them getting into the system.

Pierce had a ferocious dunk on Frye after Grant Hill missed one on the other end. Then he looked at Frye like the blow up doll that he is and they T'ed him up, obviously. This happened in a college game recently and its just as much of a joke here. Like what do you have to do after you put some clown on a poster. Eyes to the floor, no smiling, and immediately get back down the court. What a joke.

I also have no problem with Rondo's three. People jack 3s at the end of the game, it happens. Definitely rubbing it in to some degree but word is the Suns bench was chirping him the last few seconds so he took one. I have no problem with Dudley trying to block it either. The game ends when the ends. Not 3 seconds before.

Big Baby tweaked his knee landing from a dunk at the very end which sucks. Apparently the MRI was negative and he should only miss a week, but I'm just so sick of your players dropping like flies for the stupidest things. Lets hope it really is just a 2/3 game strain.

Finally things with KG and Gentry got a little heated again towards the end. KG got a tech and appeared to have some words with the bench. Then in the post game when asked about it he said, "Alvin Gentry was asking me for tickets for the first round of the playoffs and I told him I'd hook him up. That's what that was about." Such a cold blooded comment. Love it. You need finals tickets bro? Hit us up. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Beast Mode


Ive been trying to get my gym on lately and its going ok. I mean I don't want to be this guy. I would like to be stronger, but not on this level. However, I couldn't help drinking some water just to spit it out when I saw this video. I didn't care about the squat, but when the you hear the "Come On" in the song and he throws those mother fuckers into the press I lost it. He probably eats those fools for dinner later, raw, then gets two new dudes for his workout the next day. Do they grab the bar when he is benching too or does just stack them in a pile and bench like 40 of them at once?

The good old days


This baby is insanely cute and the laugh is contagious but I have to be honest this video really upset me. It was like the scene in Knocked Up when Paul Rudd is at the park with Seth Rogen and the kids are playing with bubbles. I don't think I have ever been as happy as this baby is in that moment my entire life. And even if thats not true, and there is a moment from my infancy I just don't remember when I felt that way, then I still know I will never be this happy again. I'm too smart now. I know too much about the world and my place in it and the seriousness of certain things compared to others to ever feel this much joy. I would give anything to rip the paper next to me in half and start tearing up I'm laughing so hard, but all that will actually happen is I will get pissed because I just tore up my credit card bill.

The truth behind Tyson v Holyfield

By Neal J. Riley, Globe Correspondent

A Hingham man has been sentenced to two years in prison -- 60 days to serve and the balance suspended -- after he admitted in Norfolk Superior Court today to biting off parts of another man's ears during a fight, authorities said.

Andrew J. MacDonald, 20, pleaded guilty to two counts of mayhem after he was accused of biting off a portion of another man's upper right ear and lower left earlobe and spitting them onto the pavement outside of a McDonald's in Weymouth in Nov. 2009, according to a statement from Norfolk District Attorney Michael W. Morrissey.

Morrissey said the combatants had called each other names in several angry Facebook messages prior to the incident. A friend of the victim collected the bitten ear pieces and transported the victim to a local hospital, Morrissey said.
I almost didn't post this until I got to the last paragraph. Like yeah this dude bit some other dude's ear off. Kinda gross, kinda weird. He is going to do some jail time, insert Tyson joke, blah, blah, blah. Probably not worth my time. Then I got confused. This shit started with some trash talk on the Book? What gives? Then I figured it out. You can't message bro. I've spewed some serious heat on wall posts and taken some back just as bad, because the wall is for teasing hate. You bring that shit to the private message you up the stakes, and if you're not careful you get your ear bitten off.

What a Trip!

RECAP

What a road trip for the Bs after they shook up the team a little bit near the trade deadline. The boys in black and gold come home winners of 6 straight on the road, something they haven't done since the '72 cup winning team.

Tonight they beat Ottawa for the second time on this trip, blanking them 1-0 behind some big time play from Rask. Everyone has been saying that these consecutive starts in a row is what helps him get his confidence back but I don't know if I buy that. He is just a great goaltender, and I think the nerves of a slow start have been getting to him all year, as evidence by some softies he lets in when he loses focus. But tonight he was claritin clear turning aside all 33 shots he faced. He had a big one on a breakaway stop in the second that could have swung the momentum. He also got a little help from the pipe, but so do a lot of my friends when they've had a long day. 2 U's 2 K's 2 pts

To be honest, pretty boring game otherwise. Seguin got his 10 minutes again. That was nice. The powerplay actually looked decent for the first time in a while even they it didn't produce a goal. Kaberle was moving the puck nicely out there. Maybe it would help if big Z didn't wind up for a bomb anytime the puck comes within a 15 feet vicinity of him. Would it kill the guy to make a back door pass?

Horton netted the winner on a goal mouth scramble, lets hope he keeps the scoring touch anyway he can get them.

Crazy last few minutes there, I don't know how they didn't tie this one up like 17 times but thats what you do on the road against bad teams. You hold on.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Perk for Krstic was a steal?

RECAP

I kid I kid, but seriously, nice string of games for the new big guy. Its clear he doesn't completely get the system yet, which was to be expected, because KG spent some time chirping him and pushing him around the floor to the right spots throughout the night. But he stepped up again tonight in the Celtics win of the new look Jazz with 11 pts and 5 rebounds. KG was all over the glass himself and had another big night with 16 and 14.

Rondo looked alive for the firs time since the Perk trade. He was flying around the court. He had 18 pts and 11 dimes for a great overall effort. He had a dominant steal about half way through the fourth that set up KG for 2 free throws that I hoped would turn the tide of the game. It didn't because Utah wouldn't go away but just a classic Rondo play. Rondo took a lot of shots tonight, 16, which is more than he usually takes when he isn't in much of a rhythm. And when the game was winding down I was saying we have to get Ray or Paul a look here, but I will settle for KG. Then Rondo got Harris (who played well) in the air and raised up for a free throw line jumper and buried. It was nice to see him hit that shot. Then he made two more big time plays to close it. He knocked the rebound off the Bell miss all the way down the court to kill 3 more seconds then stole the inbound pass to end it. He really controls everything that happens for us, and when he is playing at the level he did tonight we are tough to beat.

Paul essentially only played the 2nd and 4th quarter tonight but we wouldn't have won with out his 21 pt effort. He kept us in the game by himself in the 2nd with 16 points and hit a big time three in the 4th with an ill strut back up the court after.

Ray was insane down the stretch. Dude has ice water in his veins. He hit two monster threes to keep giving us a cushion and then hit the most ferocious foot on the line 2 pointer you will ever see. We were having a touch possession up 2 with about 45 seconds to go and ray hit a long two from the right wing falling right with AK47 in his face. Only Ray takes that shot and only Ray hits that shot. A beautiful sight to see.

Big Baby played like complete dog shit. The worst game he has had in a long time. Didn't do much offensively, wasn't knocking down his jumpers, and played horrendous defense all night. He is usually our down the stretch 5 and I was screaming for Krstic. I shot faked from my couch during a timeout and I'm pretty sure I saw Baby leave his feet in the huddle. He should have fouled out like 15 times but they kept sticking fouls on Ray or Paul but if I was out there I would have said hell no that was uno uno, get him the fuck off the floor.

Jeff Green was pretty quiet again with 5 but I hope he is just warming up. I know its hard to get shots with a team so talented and so unselfish as we are but I really hope he can use the rest of the season to get in sync with the second team and West and find a groove for himself.

Last point, Al Jefferson is a beast. I think everyone knew he would be good when he left Boston, but the trade was obviously worth it. I felt bad he went to the Wolves, and was happy for him when he landed in Utah. And I know his typical game isn't what he did tonight. He is like an 18 and 10 guy, which you can't complain about, but he swung his shit around tonight. Getting hacked and finishing whenever he felt like it. Anyway we can get him back too?

Insane Hurdles


I'm not fooled at all by what is going on here. Remember those David Blaine nba commercials? The one about Lebron's dunks, and how another teammate is just stepping on the floor in the right place which springs Lebron into the air. Well I'm not an idiot. That is all that is happening here. Someone off camera is just stomping on a trick piece of the track which launches this dude clean over my head. That is the only explanation. Also, is it just unfair for him to run a real hurdles race? I know he is a high jumper but it seems to me that running regular hurdles for him would just be like regular running. He might not even know there were there unless you told him. He does he not win that race every time?

Get Me This Seal!


Get me this seal if only to save it from this asshole filming it. That has to be the most adorable/saddest thing I have ever seen. I had a seal in my yard one winter and all that piece of shit did was bark at me every time I got close. Kept me for like 2 nights before some wildlife people came and threw his ass back in the ocean. But this guy doesn't bark he just cries. I mean he is crying right? At the end there, when his eyes keep squinting, those are obviously tears. I just want to pick this thing up and let him slide over any mound of snow he wants. Honestly if you aren't in love with this seal then check your pulse, because you are probably dead.

Rage!


This is what I'm talking about. I used to hate getting dragged to stupid chorus concerts or band recitals just to watch them sing/play shit that I have never heard of until my ears bleed and I get to go home. If you've got talent and you want to get more people into the shit you do why not play cool stuff. Get people jacked up saying I love that song I want to be a part of that. These guys did it right. Nothing says we mean fucking business like Bulls on Parade. I saw this live once and I almost killed 5 people surrounding me I was raging so hard. You see the director doing his thing too? This shit is on repeat on his ipod, no way he sleeps tonight.

PS the next time Chicago wins the NBA title the headline has to be Bulls on Parade right? I mean has that been done yet or am I a fucking genius?

All things celtics

DENVER RECAP

CLIPS RECAP

The Celtics dropped one to the New York Nuggets on Thursday night. A disappointing loss because the Cs were leading with around 3 minutes left and let Denver go on a 16-0 run to close out the game.

Rondo was pretty quiet but everyone played ok until disappearing down the stretch. No one could hit a shot when we needed it. It makes sense that we were tired because after the trades we only had 8 guys suited up for this one. We even called Chris Johnson back from the D league who gave us 6 pts and a rebound off the bench.

A tough night for basketball as KG would put it.

We regrouped and beat out Blake and the Clips on Saturday night. Paul and Ray played well and the Celtics just hung on late to get out of LA with a win.

The Cs welcomed new comers Krstic and Green for the first time and this one. Green went for 7 pts and Krstic went for 9 pts with 6 offensive rebounds, a Celtic season high.

Its going to take a while for these guys to start finding their role and fitting into the squad, but a win is as good a way to start as any.

Now I have talked myself in and out of these trades about 500 times. I don't know where I will eventually land. It doesn't make sense to me that a team who claims they would have won the ship last year if they had a healthy Perk and could grab a fucking rebound would jack all our big men off the team in one day leaving only Shaq and Jermaine. The front office obviously knows the team better than I do, so they better fucking know that those two guys will be healthy enough to get us through the playoffs. Because if the Magic, who suck, beat us cause Dwight does whatever he wants then this is going to look really stupid.

On a strictly talent level this wasn't that bad. Some of the rookies got bounced to free up some space for bought out veterns, sorry but such is life. Nate, who I really do like, sort of killed us all year minus that short stint when he started for an injured Rondo. And Perk, who of course I love and is a fan favorite, isn't that hard to replace. He went for about 6 pts and 7 boards a night. He was a big dude who clogged the middle and fumbled every pass Rondo ever dished to him inside. Jeff Green is a versatile scorer and player who can spell Ray and Paul and play some good wing defense. He is the upside of the trade for sure. It allows us to play smaller which we haven't done since Posey and that won us a ship.

However, my problem is what it did to the team's mentality. I know they will get over it, its a business and everyone knows it. But when KG was practically crying saying how he lost a family member today. And Paul made those 'man I hope Danny and Doc know what they are doing comments.' It put me on edge. Rondo, who is best friends with Perk, was zombie like on the floor in Denver. He refused to talk to the media and was obviously upset. KG said they when we brought him in we told him this was all about togetherness, thats the formula that wins, and we needed him to buy into it. He did. Everyone did. Then to cut off one of the roots like that at this point in the season? I don't know. Like I said I'm flip flopping in. If Green turns it on, and we grab a couple veterans and Shaq can give us the minutes to walk to the finals I will say it was the best trade we ever made. But for a squad that kept saying we like our team, this was certainly an interesting way to show it.

Anyway, a fond farewell and good luck to Quis, Semih, Luke, Nate, and especially Perk. You will be missed my man. I hope you shit on Bynum in the playoffs.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

5 down 1 to go

RECAP

The Bruins handled the Oilers in a battle of the first two overall picks from last year. Rask was in goal and continued his decent form. He let in two goals that weren't great, but he played well enough for the Bs to look down a 3-2 win. Ryder scored a nifty goal to tie it in the first where he showed great poise on a loose puck in the slot.

His dopeness struck again later in the period with another great fake shot pass over to Horton who stuffed one into a wide open net giving the Bs a lead they would not surrender.

Then Peverley got the third goal making it 3-1 to be the first of the Boston new comers to light the lamp. It was actually a great play by the whole line. Kelly got an assist keep creating offense off a turnover getting the puck in zone to Peverley. Pev fed Ryder in the middle who worked the give and go right back to Peverley who skillfully pulled the puck on the backhand across the crease and tucked it home. Really a great play to watch all around.

Other than that a pretty cut and dry game. The Bruins D held the Oilers to 17 shots while peppering the men in blue with 40 of their own. Even though they trailed early and it got close again late the game never seemed out of control. Lucic had a good fight, its been a while and that was fun.

Tyler was back up to about 10 minutes. An improvement from last game. And even though Hall is playing 20 a game and has way more points they are terrible and we aren't and he was a minus 2 tonight so....suck it.

Bruins measure up against leagues best

RECAP

The Bruins improved to 4-0 on this road trip with a big time win against the NHLs best team. After this win there is no reason we can't close out this trip 6-0 which would be huge in the quest to get that #2 seed. It was a hard fought game with two great defenses and two great goalies.

Thomas stood on his head again, making huge saves the whole way to keep the Bs in it. His best came with seconds left to make sure Lucic's goal stood up as the game winner in his welcome home party.

Ference left with a lower body injury which is something of a concern. The Bs played the rest of the game out with 5 blue liners. However, they have already been dishing someone on the back line a healthy scratch each night, and just signed former bear Shane Hnidy to a 1 year deal so this isn't the worst thing that could happen. I of course hope he is ok, but if hes not I guess we have a little bit of depth there.

Seguin was down to 6 minutes which sucks. At least he is going to have fresh legs. The new guys continue to hustle without much to show for it. Kaberle had an assist which I think is the first points by anyone knew so hes got that going for him.

Krejci, the king of dope, put another one on the highlight reel when he started the play to set up the game winner. He made a beautiful move crossing the blue line that took him behind the net before finding Seidenberg at the point whose rebound Lucic burried.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

this is how you workout


Low man wins dude, low man wins! How you enter the four kid exercise ball that high is beyond me. Bend your fucking knees and drive those legs. Someone is going flying here, you want it to be you? Is that what you want? What really cost him here was the timing. His extra long strides at the beginning was the difference. You can't crash this party late, because you get shown the door.

This guy is straight killin it



Its not this guy's dance moves that I love. I've seen that shit before. It all about the presentation. That bush costume is so fucking good hes got to be ex military right? I mean that shit isn't just for sale, that has seen field experience. Either that or he literally cut leaves off the very bush he hides in and glued them to a suit. Just perfect. Then on the fourth or so clip when he mixed it up, I spent the whole lead up trying to spot him in the leaves when he popped out of the fucking garbage bag! Scared me worse than those people. Thats fucking versatility. I don't know how I am going to walk the sidewalks anymore without thinking some dude is going to pop out and dance right in my grill. I feel like Carl Crawford. What a showman. The statue stuff wasn't really for me so you can pretty much cut it by then, but that dancing stuff was something else. Keep doing your thing dude.
Dance Assassin - Watch more Funny Videos

Is this the worst cheer of all time?


This game is pretty crazy if you want to watch all of it. Big time shot after big time shot. Especially the winner. Loved the celebration. Aint no thing. I am just mad the Hawks crowd tried as hard as they possibly could to ruin this video for me. One time I heard a story about the MIT hockey team's fans yelling "Imped them! Imped them! Place obstacles in their path!" but I gotta assume they were just playing up the MIT thing. Thats not serious. The Hawks fans are serious with this shit. "I believe that we will win!" Thats embarrassing. I hope they don't go any further so they don't humiliate themselves up and down the state. If you're going to play ball with the big boys you have to chant with the big boys.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

RONDO'D

RECAP

Happy Birthday Rajon, you dog you.

The Celtics rolled into Golden State tonight where they haven't won since 2003 and put that talk to rest. A dominant 3rd quarter pushed the Celtics ahead for good, and when the lead started to slip in the 4th the men in green went on an 18-2 run that put that game out of reach for an easy 22 point victory.

It was great to see some new faces on the court for a change. Semih and West were back out there, and even though the rust showed a bit it was great to have their legs added to the rotation. Shaq isn't joining the team on this trip but slowly and surely this team is getting back to its full roster.

The one down side of the game was Perk. He left in the second half with a knee injury and didn't return. He seemed to bump it setting a screen. After the game he said he just strained it and should be good to go Thursday. He even did some jogging after he came out tonight hoping to go back in but Doc told him not to be a hero. Lets hope he is ok because his quicker than expected return to form has been a huge boost for this injury depleted squad.

Great overall win for the Celtics tonight. This place has been a house of horrors as of late. In fact the Big 3 have never won here, and it took a team effort to get it done. it looked shaky in the 2nd quarter when the sluggish second unit was getting pounded again but the first string was able to bring it back by halftime. I loved watching them pound the glass tonight, out rebounding GS 52-35. Control the glass control the game. Big Baby went for a 10 and 10 double double off the bench.

KG and Rondo were awesome tonight. Pierce and Ray weren't too shabby with 23 and 18 respectively but they had to differ to the other two of the Big 4 tonight. Kevin was just vintage KG with a line of 24 pts, 12 rbs, 6 ast, 2 blk, and 1 stl. He controlled the game when he was on the floor. And I have just as much fun watching him as I do the birthday boy.

Rondo turned 25 today and he did it with style. He was flashes of earlier this season Rondo tonight: 19 pts, 15 ast, 6 rbs, and 2 stl. The best part about it was the way he got them. He slashed to the hoop for uncontested layups. He hit a three. He made the right cuts. And most importantly he was hitting that transition pull up. I literally get aroused when he does that. If people back off him and he hits that shot its game over, because when they get in his face and he will blow by them laughing and high stepping all the way to the rim Usain Bolt style.

Its a good win to start the road trip. The Cs have only 1 game left vs the Heat, Bulls, Hawks, and Spurs. They are done with Orlando and LA. That means 24 of their 28 remaining games are very very winnable if they stay focused with the potential 1 seed looming pretty large this year. The green tries to keep it rolling Thursday night in Colorado when they play the Knicks....errr I mean the Nuggets.

Did we scare the shit out of Crawford already?

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein said he employed "a bad figure of speech" when he said the Red Sox checked out Carl Crawford "as if we were privately investigating him" before signing the free-agent outfielder last December.

Crawford said Tuesday that he was "creeped out a little bit" when Epstein told him that the club had monitored him, not only on the field, but off the field, in the months before signing him.

"I thought that was a little weird," Crawford said Tuesday. "I guess that's what they have to do when they're making that kind of investment."
Whole Article

Is this serious? Like I saw the headline and figured it was a joke right away. Like when on sportscenter right before commercial Josh Elliot says, "when we return, see which Patriot called Tom Brady a dork." And I'm like sweet dude. Did Deion Branch say TB12 studies harder than anyone on the team so he is a dork in that way? Cool story. I figured this was the same thing. 'Red Sox creeped out Crawford.' Of course we did, like we creeped him out how good we are, or how persuasive our front office can be, something like that right Carl? Nope. Turns out Theo had private detectives up in Crawford's shit for the second half of last season, and now the dude can't even enter his fucking house without being paranoid. Don't get me wrong, Theo is in the right here. He was just doing his job, and it was obviously just our scouts, but don't tell Crawford I said that. I read through the whole article waiting for him to be like, 'oh I'm just playing I know they were doing their job and I was doing mine.' but that part never came. Like he is flat out scared right now, looking over his shoulder all day. Always aware of his 100 yard radius. How is this fucking guy supposed to bat when he thinks everyone in the Fenway bleachers is Jason fucking Borne.

Missed it by that much



I put this up so you could see the video without having to go to a separate link but please please please watch it on this link: CRASH For some reason I couldn't embed the one I have linked to and all the other videos are censored and you just have to hear it.

I fucking love this kid! I was ready to pass on this video so fast it would make your head spin, oh sweet another kid crashes his bike. But when this kid got to the apex of his last jump and let out that "FUCK!" I lost it. Like head back, eyes closed, belly laughing. Immediate replay. Thats how you can tell a good video. This kid knew what was up and he didn't make any midair adjustments, he just cursed the high heavens.  I would give him more props here but he is clearly dead now so all he's got left are some fucking awesome last words. At least he went big.

Mrs. Potato Head


I love wheel of fortune and millionaire fuck ups like this. There have certainly been crazier things said on both shows but this one cracked me up. I mean there is no way in the whole wide world the answer to this puzzle isn't 'self portrait'. No chance. None. But to be honest I feel bad for Lolita because I fucking love me some self potatoes. She probably didn't eat before the show and let the mind wander a little bit. She got robbed as far as I am concerned. She took it like a champ too, gotta respect that. These type of blunders can get you off your game if you can't laugh it off. Just look at Pat Sajak, dude can't even remember who fucking won.

An Uphill Battle

JACKSON HOLE, Wyo., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Officials with a Wyoming ski resort said no charges will be filed against a 78-year-old man arrested while trying to ski uphill.

Jackson Hole Mountain Resort officials said Ronald Fleck was arrested Feb. 5 after ski patrol members spent 3 1/2 hours attempting to convince the man to turn around while he was trying to ski uphill to watch his granddaughter's ski race, the Jackson Hole Daily reported Monday.

Fleck was arrested on suspicion of trespass, interference, unsafe skiing and theft of services. However, Jerry Blann, president of the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, said no charges will be pressed.

"Once he was removed, the safety issue, which was our primary concern, was removed," Blann said Friday.

Teton County Sheriff Jim Whalen said his department is dropping the matter.

"Pretty much from the beginning of this thing, we didn't see any reason to move forward with the criminal prosecution," he said. "We're fine with it."

Teton Country Sheriff has got no problem with this guy and neither do I. I don't even know why they stepped in. If he wants to ski up the fucking hill let him ski up the hill. Dude was justing trying to be there for his grand daughter, catch her race. I love how it took them some serious convincing too, 3 and a half hours worth, to tell him he was going the wrong way. Like, 'sir you are going the wrong way.' 'Who me? No I'm good.' 'No sir you see how the hill fucking slopes down? You see the way everyone else is going? That where we need you to be headed.' 'Nah, all set.' What an animal. What I don't get is how the fuck do you even ski uphill? Like if I face uphill I'm just skiing downhill backwards, cause you know, you can't ski uphill. Just doesn't work that way. If he was doing the sideways shuffle up there I wouldn't calling it skiing anymore. I want footage of this miracle.

Snakebit

Boston.com - There are no free rides on the T, not even for Penelope the snake.

The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority sent the animal’s owner, Melissa Moorhouse of Allston, a $650 bill for the cost of sanitizing the train, less than two weeks after finding the three-foot Dumeril’s boa in a subway car at the JFK/UMass station.

Moorhouse said Penelope went missing on Jan. 6 after it slithered away from under her scarf and around her neck on the Red Line between the Broadway and Andrew stations.

MBTA Treasurer-Controller Wesley Wallace wrote that the MBTA had to ‘‘scrub and disinfect’’ the car where Penelope was found in order to protect passengers from germs such as salmonella that may have been left by the snake. He cited Centers for Disease Control guidelines that state young children and people with weakened immune systems should avoid contact with reptiles or items reptiles have touched.

When reached by phone today, an ‘‘overwhelmed’’ Moorhouse declined to comment on whether she would fight the fine.

MBTA General Manager Richard Davey said Red Line trains are cleaned regularly but this was a special process. He said it is uncommon to bill customers for expenses, but this was an unusual situation.

‘‘The taxpayer spent almost $600, $700 cleaning this train, and while we were pleased to find Penelope and return the snake to her owners, at the same time some customers wrote in with health concerns about the sanitary nature of the car,’’ he said. ‘‘So we took steps to clean it.’’

He noted that the owner had said she would bring the snake on the train again and might not observe T policy about pets and leashes or containers, which he hoped she would avoid, calling travel by T with an uncaged snake ‘‘a little ludicrous.’’

‘‘While I’m not looking to start a war with Penelope and her owners, they have to be accountable for their actions,’’ he said. ‘‘The taxpayers shouldn’t have to pay for this, and the fare payers shouldn’t.’’
Listen, I don't hate snakes as much as some people. I'm not saying I don't jump outta my pants when I see a garter snake in the tall grass in my backyard, I do. But I can look at them. Spiders freak me the fuck out. But I've had up to here with this fucking snake. I was on the red line right after this story first broke and I had my feet up on the seat the whole time, sweating bullets. I was actually becoming physically ill during the ride as my imagination played out different ways that snake was about to kill me. Why did I even get on you ask? Because I fucking forgot about it til I was already on the train ok. And you can't put a price on that kind of misery. I was calling my mom and shit, telling her I loved her. So Penelope owes $650 bucks, thats it? How about my fucking piece of mind back you slithery bitch.

Bruins put out the Flames

RECAP

Big road win for the Bs tonight as they faced off against a Flames team that has been simply on fire as of late. The Flames already did us a favor leaving Montreal in the dust on Sunday night during the NHL's second outdoor game this year, and they did us one more tonight by getting beat at home 3-1.

It was the first time the three new Bs were on the ice together and I have to admit they played pretty well. None of them figured on the score sheet again but they looked good doing it. Kaberle lead the team in ice time tonight and looked sturdy in every aspect of the game. And if I can say anything about Kelly and Peverley its that the hustled their asses off out there.

I was a little weary of those two new guys on a third line with Ryder, I thought it had disaster written all over it but they forechecked the shit out the Flames all night, created a lot of turnovers, and a lot of chances. It was a great spark every time they touched the ice.

I feel bad for Thomas because he deserved a shutout tonight. He stood on his head all game. The only time he was beat was on a very quality powerplay goal, even if the coverage was weak again. Timmy was saved by the post a couple of times, and you could just tell it was one of those nights for the Flames. Can't buy a goal.

Krejci continued his reign of dopeness over the human race with the pass to set up our first goal. Bad change by the Flames sprung the Bs top line into the zone and Krejci teed up a fake slap shot pass to a streaking Lucic for an easy tap in. What a move, and only a minute into the contest it really set the tone.

The Bruins did a great job of weathering the storm at a bunch of different points in this game, especially end of the first and second period. A lot of times this season I've seen the Bs get on their heels and give up a big time momentum swinging goal. Its those points in the hockey game when simply holding your ground can make a huge statement, and it being a one goal game for most of the affair tonight, that type of poise was crucial.

Seguin had a team low 10:26 minutes of ice time but it was 10 minutes nonetheless. Its tough for a guy like him to be on the fourth line between Thornton and Campbell, but I don't know what you can ask of Claude at this point. On some shifts Seguin really brings it, and others he looks like he is just going through the motions. He is still learning and I am happy to see him keeping a regular shift. Paille got the scratch tonight, but you know he will get some reps soon too so Tyler needs to play as fast and hard as he can go.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Whoopie Pie: great treat or the greatest treat?

Portland Press Herald - As a freshman lawmaker, Rep. Anne Graham has high expectations for her work in the Legislature.


A pediatric nurse practitioner and North Yarmouth Democrat, she is a member of the Legislature's State and Local Government Committee.


And, as luck would have it, her first-ever vote in committee came last week on L.D. 71: "An Act to Designate the Whoopie Pie as the State Dessert."


As you may have read in the paper, the bill was amended to designate the tasty and high-calorie snack as the state's official "treat," rather than dessert. Graham was one of three lawmakers -- two Democrats and one Republican -- to vote against it in committee.


"Although I like to have fun, I really felt at a time when people are trying to heat their homes or find adequate health care for their children, we're spending time on whether the whoopie pie is the state dessert or treat," she said after the vote.


Graham said she has nothing against the whoopie pie industry, and that she believes the bill will pass when it gets to the full Legislature. But she just couldn't raise her hand in support.


"I came here to do the hard work," she said.


The bill is headed to the House, which meets again March 1.

Is Maine forserious with this shit? I rarely ever get involved with politics, especially local politics, because I am not well enough informed to have a legitimate conversation and those are the only conversations I like having. I'm not in the business of embarrassing myself. That being said I feel like I have to put my foot down on this issue. At what point did the fucking whoopie pie even enter the running for 'state dessert'? Where was ice cream sunday, freeze pops, and homemade chocolate chips cookies when this shit went down? They don't get a say? That doesn't sound very fucking American to me. At least Anne Graham has her head on straight. She knows there is no money left to fashion the fucking whoopie pie for a crown when we are trying to pay for new 4 wheelers for the police dept and adding new theater wings to our schools and shit. Besides, how can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

Shadow boxing to a whole new level



Needless to say this guy would cut me into a million pieces with a blade. And shadows pretty consistently scare the shit out of me, so this scenario would be like my worst nightmare. And when the shadows turn into people it got fucking cool. However, really dude? How much work went in to knifing up balls of darkness? The only answer is too much. Why not bring some other blade master out there and fucking battle to the death. I would watch that shit all day. Without that element of danger I can't commit. I mean this guy clearly got fucking stabbed in the heart by the Smoke Monster from Lost and was unfazed by it so whatever. Also, some creepy shit goes down with his sword at the 1:39 mark. Like he throws it and the shadow sword replaces it becoming a real one. That freaked me out.

Wrong way on the highway


This is a little old but I saw it on a site that had it as a trending video and I had never seen it so here it is. At first I was going to say some shit about this old dude not giving a hell, just cruising down the highway in the wrong direction. He's been around too long to be bothered by 'do not enter' or 'one way' signs. Then he got fucking smoked. I just didn't see that coming. I should have but I didn't. And I know the comments says he is ok and the internet doesn't just show people dying and shit, but there is no way this guy isn't dead right? Like he got crushed head-on going the wrong fucking way on the fucking highway. You don't just stumble away from that like, "anyone get the number on that truck?" And to be honest, I'm more upset with the people that hit him. Its not like he was fucking swerving all over the place. What you didn't see the dude flying down the highway straight at you? Was he in your fucking blind spot bro? I mean how long can you drive straight at someone without, you know, changing lanes. Remind me to never play either of these dudes in chicken.

Coach fires clothes onto the ice after being ejected



I used to think that the greatest coach reaction to any ejection was when Phil Wellman lost his shit on the minor league baseball diamond but this one gives Phil a run for his money. On the showmanship level Phil still takes it, but in terms of raw emotion and complete melt down levels I have to tip my cap to the coach of the Eagles. Wellman's routine, while great, seemed predetermined. Maybe he didn't wake up that morning knowing he was going to throw a rosin bag grenade at an umpire, but he clearly had thought that shit out before. That was not spontaneous. This guy was spontaneous. I mean he gets tossed and just starts ripping his fucking clothes off. Are you kidding me? What are you gonna do now? What if this dude gets butt ass naked up in your face? Maybe this tirade cost him some cash, maybe it didn't change the score, but he didn't walk out of there embarrassed about a god damn thing and let me make one guarantee. There is no fucking way the Eagles didn't the next 50/50 call.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Cue the Duck Boats!!! Banner 18



If you don't think this is going to be the background on my laptop for the stretch run you are high as shit.

GET ME THIS GOAT!!




Do you know how much ass I could get with this goat. This fucking goat can get up and get down. Give him a beat with some decent bass and stand back. You roll to parties with this goat you get girls under each arm inside of 5 minutes. It would be a fucking joke. Panties dropping so fast there is barely time to refill your solo cup. I wouldn't even feel bad. You can't stop talent like this, you can't even contain it.

Airline providing LIVE in-flight entertainment

MOSCOW, Feb. 19 (UPI) -- Russian budget airline Avianova announced it will be hiring clowns, actors and musicians to amuse and entertain passengers during flights.

Avianova officials said the first in-flight live entertainment will take place Saturday on a flight from Moscow to Krasnodar.

The airline said it was inspired to install stages on the planes when it was forced to reduce the number of seats from 180 to 159 because of a change in Russian customs policy.

Only the fucking Russians would pull a stunt like this. Fuck leg room. They need space for a pantomime duo. A decent comedian could be better than the piece of shit movies that usually get played on plains, but I don't think the Russians are supplying decent comedians. I can only imagine it is some fucked up combination of clowns and people banging because there are no rules there. Better piss before take off, don't want to walk through the act. 

You can be my cinderella, ella, ella


Where the fuck was this half time show at the superbowl?? I planned on not watching then I just couldn't change the channel. One of my buddies saw Rihanna on the streets one day and swears she is the hottest chick he has ever seen in person but I could never believe it. After tonight, I'm in dude. I'm sold. She was wrecking dicks up there. Working that body like nobody's business. I thought she was going to fuck Drake on stage. I can't believe we already blew our only wardrobe malfunction on Janet Jackson.

Griffin Wins Dunk Contest


I know I just ripped on this, and everything I previously said about recent dunk contests still holds, but this wasn't that bad. Still not great. But not that bad. Griffin won, which I think was correct, but I think his best was this first one. Maybe the elbow in the hoop after serving it off the backboard. His last one to 'win it' was the worst of them and everything wrong with the competition. All bells and whistles. Jump over the car the long way bro, then we'll talk.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Griffin and the Tearin, the Griffin and the Tearin


I know no one really gives a shit about nba all star weekend. The game sucks. The skills competition isn't very cool. The 3 point contest is whatever. The dunk contest used to be cool but people have done every dunk now, so it has turned into a carnival and its just not that fun anymore. There can be something sweet every now and again but you can catch it on a highlight. Not worth watching the whole thing. Plus they give everything 10s too early. Shit is weak.

Then there are things like the celebrity and game and the rookie sophomore game which are super boring. Minus the few rookie sophomore studs, I have no desire to see the rest of the guys play basketball. So god knows I wasn't watching this live, but I heard about it pretty quickly and saw it just as fast. John Wall is so dope its fucking awesome. Obviously no D is getting played but that shit was on point. And everyone knows Griffin can jump through the roof but even I could have put that one down. Perfect pass. And the kid doesn't stop there, he struts that ass down the court and goes right into the worlds best dougie. I would never fuck with John Wall, in any facet of life. Seriously. He is more gifted than me in every way. I might be smarter than him, but he is silky smooth enough to convince people otherwise. And if I ever, repeat ever, need to settle something via a walk-off (with Hansel past his prime at this point) J Wall is easily my stand in. Hes so hot right now! Just oozing confidence.

Pray for Surf? Why not make it yourself


This is old but I just saw it and want to talk about it. This is fucking awesome. You don't have to watch the whole video, once you get to the 3 minute mark I would say you've got the gist of it. Basically these guys were trying bro out and surf, but there were no waves to shred. Pack up and go home? I don't think so. They build their own never ending waves and can ride them to their hearts content. I just don't get how the hell they did this. Like they were digging out some ground with their hands and then the scene cuts and they were ready to ride giants with Kunu. I'm usually good with this stuff but I have no clue how this happened. Also, this has got to be a great way to learn how to surf right? I mean the wave just fucking sits there. Never ending. You can boogie board it for 10 minutes til you are ready to stand up. And then you can just keep riding it and practicing it and shit. I gotta believe facilities like this exist with these forever waves where dope pro surfers can practice dominant moves, but for every days joes without those kind of resources this has gotta be the play. I want the plans on how this is done posted like now!

The Trade Winds Blowing

The Bruins appear to be done moving with the trade deadline fast approaching, but they certainly made some waves this year. Everyone is talking about how much the new acquisitions are going to help give this team a strong playoff push, but to be honest I can't say I agree with everything they did.

I liked most of it. Grabbing Chris Kelly for a pick was a nice contribution. Savard being gone and Seguin's role being brought into question for the playoffs its nice to have a strong smart two way forward like Kelly on the team.

I also like the Kaberle deal. That was long over due. It wasn't a question of if Kaberle was going to be a Bruin, it was a question of when. We got to keep Toronto's first round pick (which hopefully will be top four by the end of the year cause there is a big drop off in talent after the top 4 prospects in the draft) and give up our first rounder and former first round pick Joe Colborne to finally land Kaberle. Hopefully he will help the struggling powerplay and help move the puck up to the forwards.

I like Kaberle and I hope this will work out, but I am not completely sold on him. He never seems to wow me when I see him play. Maybe that is because I don't see enough of his games, or that he is playing for a bad team, but I've never been blown away. However, everyone who speaks of him does so in such a high regard that there must be real talent there.

The move that really really pisses me off is the Wheeler deal. It ended up being Wheeler and Stuart to the Thrashers for Boris Valabik, a big blue liner who will go straight to providence, and scorer Rich Peverley. I know people have been a little frustrated with Wheeler at times because he hasn't been able to match his rookier numbers but I think that is complete shit.

His first season he got to play on the third line with Krejci and Ryder. That means a lot of the time they are going out against other team's third lines, no one knew how fucking nasty Krejci was yet, and that was the only year that Ryder ever looked like the player we signed up to get. They were a machine. My favorite line on the team that season by far.

Wheeler put up like 21 and 24 I think and even though he hasn't quite matched it since we have to ask ourselves why. He has never really had a consistent line since that season, and he doesn't get to play with Krejci anymore who is an assist machine. And he is forced to conform to the Bruins system. I'm not saying its a terrible system, it definitely creates more two way players, but gifted offensive guys like Wheeler can get suffocated. You can see it happening with Seguin this year too. Sure they should play D in zone and be responsible for their checks but you gotta let them run wild. Thats what they do. Thats how they got here.

Sure Peverley has better numbers this year but he is a top forward on that team in a different system. If he is forced to conform the way Wheeler was I expect to see his production dip significantly. And on the other end I bet if Wheeler is given free reign in Atlanta you will see him top his rookie numbers in no time.

Maybe I'm just pissed because I loved Wheeler, who knows. And shit I hope I'm wrong and I eat this blog when Peverley carries us to the cup finals. I hope he keeps pumping in goals like no tomorrow. But just remember, if he starts playing tough in zone D and being a two way player with a goal tossed in here and there and Blake Wheeler is all over sportscenter top ten I won't need to say I told you so.

Bruins show the Sens how you debate

RECAP

So I had a hockey game of my own Friday night at 830 and missed the entire Bruins game, which was a bummer, so all I got to do was read this recap above and watch the shitty highlight video they provide.

Its a good win because we have to continue to beat these bad teams when we catch a few light spots in the schedule like this. I wish we could have taken the Toronto game too making it three straight easy ones after the Detroit losses but whatever.

Tuukka played well again. I want to get his confidence as up as much as possible so he can continue to spell Thomas leading up to the playoffs and continue to rebuild his foundation for next year.

Marchand has been a bright spot all year, and had two goals in this one, the second finishing off a very strong third period that put the game away. Kaberle and Kelly didn't figure on the score sheet but I'm told they played well. Its got to be tough jumping in with a new team just like that but they seemed to handle it pretty well.

Seguin had about 11 minutes of ice time to go along with another assist. Thats nice to see. I don't want to see his role diminished too much with all these new additions, but he is definitely going to have to produce to keep his spot.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Coming Up Next: Diane's Weight


Classic case of behind the scenes issues with news anchors, then one of them crosses a fucking line and brings that shit public on the local evening news. There is no place for that. You don't think Veronica Corningstone didn't regret putting 'Go Fuck Yourself San Diego' on that teleprompter? She did. And on that day she learned you don't hash out private matters on live news. All that being said, what the hell did Belinda even say to Mark here. I believe the quotes are as follows:

M: "Belinda I just can't understand how something so small can be so impressive."
B: "Well Mark, you would know about that."

What are you getting at girl? I mean the obvious joke here is that Mark has a tiny dick, but he said something so small is so impressive. And if she is saying that he knows all about that then she is declaring that yes he has a small dick but also conceding that yes it is very impressive. No? Do I have this wrong? And if she knows its impressive that means she has had a taste, so why is she coming at him like that. Maybe she is talking about her tits? I can't really tell with what shes got on but she could be saying 'you know Mark we are fucking and you thought my tits were so small but then you found out how impressive they are so yes you would know about that scenario.' But both hypothetical situations, even the tiny dick one, implies that they are fucking and one of them has an impressive tool on them. Which confuses me because of the fucking smoldering look he gives her after she says it. Watch it again. Damn those eyes linger. Hes like a hawk. Is he mad cause she announced they are fucking. Chill out Mark shes cute. I can't wait for the retaliation.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!


I like MC Escher, he has some really cool drawings. The top is the picture of his waterfall drawing if you haven't seen it. Its all optical illusion stuff that is impossible in real life but looks sweet on paper. Now I saw this video when it hit the web a few days ago, watched it, and dismissed it because for some reason I was like yea whatever of course you could just build that shit if you wanted. But then it kept popping up on different sites all saying how awesome it was so I watched it again and then really tried to think about it. And then it hit me. What the fuck is happening in this video?! Like this isn't real because it literally can't be real but I don't get how he is doing this. The comments say it a split screen or something by looking at the shadow, but the shadow to me looks like what it should look like. I don't know. All I know is that this fucking can't happen, but I'm watching it happen. I don't even know if I like this anymore. This dude throws me a double thumbs up like don't sweat it man, impossible illusions with random blue liquid taking place in my garage. Everyday shit. Everyone loves it. Everyone seems to be coming around. Well I'm not Doug!

Guy chugs a beer in record time. Zicke, Zacke, Zicke, Zacke, Hoi, Hoi, Hoi!


I'm not impressed. I can't do it, but I'm not impressed. I think my expectations might have been a little bit too high coming in. How much beer is that? And how long did it actually take? They cut the video too soon for an official scoring, and I'm not about the pull out my own stop watch so I am left with no answers. My friend Hughesie can put a solo cup filled to the brim down just as fast as if you were pouring it out on the ground, no fucking joke, and that was where the bar was set for me going into this video. The thing about Hughesie though, is for that kind of speed the solo cup is his limit. He has it to a science. An extra sip and I don't think he could get it down. This guy clearly has much more than a solo cup, but I was expecting pour it out speed. Is that unreasonable for this amount? I really don't know. Cause he seems to slow down a bit on the last few swallows. Like it should have been gone, but he stalls out. I think he beat 6 so thats something. I also respect him for laying down the law on the no count down thing. Listen bro, if you want to take this massive mug of beer to the face in under 6 seconds then you can set the terms for the countdown to launch, if you are just going to be a spectator you can shut the fuck up.

Marry Fuck Kill: Austin Powers Girls



So the rules are as follows: we are talking about the version of the actress in the movie, not the version of the actress present day. Also it has nothing to do with the quality of the specific movie.

Ok sorry there aren't interactive buttons, this will just have to spur debates in the privacy of your own homes. This was a little bit harder for me than I thought it was going to be. I am going to Fuck Heather Graham. I tried to doubt myself but I can't hold out forever. I have the meanest thing for blondes and I actually never end up with any, and she is a killer blond. Done. I think I am going to Marry Beyonce. I do it for two reasons. First, she is multi talented. This acting thing is for fun, but she can sing and dance and all that jazz. Keeps me entertained. Also I know exactly what I am getting with her. Unfortunately I have to Kill Elizabeth Hurley, which almost kills me just to say because I vibe that British accent in the worst way. But its like I don't know if I can trust her. Who are you babe? Are you a tight ass professional, which I could roll with, or are you some sexy love freak? I'm not here for tricks, I'm not here for games. If I am going to wife you up I need to know what I am getting. Plus she was a fucking fem-bot. Can't go.

On the Road Again

RECAP

The Bs snapped their 3 game skid tonight by pounding the lowly Icelanders. We will take the two points anyway we can get them these days, even if this game wasn't the Bruins at their best. Its always important to start a long road trip out with a win, and thats exactly what we did.

I have felt bad for Tuukka all year. I thought last year he was the future of the team, and still think that, but was bummed to see him fall back a little bit this year. Thomas has been great, I can't complain, but I just never trust him. But while I don't think Rask's record accurately illustrates his level of play, he has certainly let in some softies this season, so Thomas will be the guy heading into the playoffs.

Tuukka made some timely stops today, which he has been doing a bit more of late, and I can't fault him too much for the goals today. Tavares' goal was my only issue. Sick shot, but Tuk went down a little early and left that near post open. But at the end of the day 34 saves and a win is all I can ask for.

The Icelanders lost this one early as inept goaltender Nathan Lawson was peppered for three goals in the first. It took five to finally yank him and the Icelanders sent in the back up. They have played six different goalies over the course of this season, one shy of the NHL record, and I felt bad for them when they sent out Alvaro Montoya. I pictured him sitting in the crease muttering, 'you killed my teammate, prepare to die', but he only let the red light show one more time for the rest of the night. Either way the damage had been done and the Bs got a 6-3 win before they welcome Chris Kelly to the club to face off against his former team.

Finally, I'm so glad I talked about the dopeness of Krejci the other day because he had a great one tonight with a goal and an assist. The assist on the Lucic goal was a play that he no look kicked to Lucic while being tied up in front of the net off a rebound and it was one of the prettier and more heads up plays you are going to see anywhere in the league. God I love that guy. The Bs are going to need him to be at his best if they are going to make waves in the playoffs.

Good game from Seguin too. A goal and as assist for him should help keep Chris Kelly from completely wiping our number 2 overall draft pick off the active roster. I hope he keeps it up.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dude Makes Full Ice Shot For $50,000

I have so many problems with this I don't even know where to begin. In case there are any doubters out there, this is a HOF shot. This isn't your garden variety asshole swishing a half court shot at half time of a college game. This is a carny game shot. Like this shot can't be made. I've been on the ice at an AHL game attempting one ( hit the net but NOT close) and saw some dude out there with me shoot a fucking gem, I mean dead on perfect shot, and have it rattle out. The puck simply doesn't fit in that hole, but you keep giving them your 5 bucks for three more tries. Its addicting, you think you should be able to do it, but you literally have no chance. Thats what you have to understand about this video. You have this stupid ass mascot out there fucking cheating and throwing the puck around trying to get you off your game. Then this wizard steps up and fucking buries it. Heres what I dont like. Bogus spotlight work right off the bat. Oh you can follow Big E's fucking baseball throw perfectly and you can't follow the most picture perfect intermission shot ever? Thanks for nothing. Next, the whole celebration in general. I wanted this guy to either go fucking bat shit crazy out there or act like hes been here a thousands times and shrug it off. I can never tell which I like more, it all depends on my in the moment mood. I was so excited for the camera to pan back just so I could see which one he would chose, cause there is no in between, and then didn't come through. He went with the in between. There is a chance he would have done a better job if Big E would have left him the fuck alone too. Its like get off the guy bro, he just pulled off a miracle. I wanted so badly for the camera to pan back and this dude be already headed off the ice arms in the air. Knew it was in off the release. Thanks for nothing Big E. And finally, when I thought nothing could get worse I got to the end of the video. They DQed him?!? Are you shitting me? He was over the red line, typical carny shit. Oh thanks Indiana Ice, you are going to make a donation anyway. How fucking generous of you. The guy hit the shot of a lifetime and you gotta asterisk him? Class act.

Does This Look Like the Face of a Man Who Is Has Been Charged With 68 Separate Felony Sex Crimes?







PORTLAND — A Windham man faces 68 felony charges for sex crimes after being indicted last week by a grand jury at Cumberland County Superior Court.


Nicholas Gladu, 27, faces one count of unlawful sexual contact and one count of sexual exploitation of a minor. Both of those counts are class A felonies, punishable by up to 30 years in prison.
Gladu also faces one class C felony charge for visual sexual aggression against a child under the age of 12, and 65 class C felony charges for possession of sexually explicit materials. Class C crimes are punishable by up to five years in prison.
Lt. Michael Nugent of the Westbrook Police Department issued a press release this afternoon. He said Westbrook, Windham, the Maine Computer Crimes Task Force and the Cumberland County District Attorney's Office worked together on the four-month investigation of Gladu. The crimes allegedly happened between August and October of 2010.
Gladu is being held on $100,000 cash or $500,000 property bond at the Cumberland County Jail.
"The matter continues to be investigated and additional charges may be filed as more information becomes available," Nugent wrote in the press release.

Heres what I dont get about this: how did it take this long for this shit to go down? I mean I get that sometimes when you are under cover or something you let things slide cause you are going after the big score. Like when Leo in The Departed is pissed that they wont just take Jack on the countless murder and drug charges cause pretty soon its going to cost him his life, but they tell him his gotta understand there are bigger things in play. I get that. What I don't get is how you let a sex offender slide for three or four months without stepping in here. Like even if the big ones, the class A felonies, came the night they arrested him how was he just cruising around with 65 counts of sexually explicit materials under his belt and everyone was cool with it? Also, what defines sexually explicit material and who has fucking 65 of them? How are you not going to get caught with 65 class C felonies up in your living room. This shit is no joke though, and I hope this guy gets what is coming to him, even if I'm not entirely sure what 'visual sexual aggression' is.  

Whats Up Ashley

The Portland Press Herald - Wed, Feb 16, 2011 - Every Mainer tuning into "Survivor: Redemption Island" tonight has a home team to root for. Her name is Ashley Underwood. 


She's our state's stake in this televised tropical quest for $1 million. A 26-year-old Cony High School and University of Maine grad, Ashley grew up at Underwood Strawberry Farm in Benton.

And though she's traveled the world playing pro basketball and found pageant success as Miss Maine 2009, Ashley remembers her roots.
In "Survivor" press leading up to this season's premiere, Ashley reminisced about getting her hands dirty when the family farm raised hundreds of pigs.
The swine were before my time. I was raised in Oakland, but my family moved a quarter-mile from the Underwood farm when I headed to UMaine. I can recommend the farm's fruit and fiddleheads firsthand...
So what Survivor is trying to tell me is that this girl has been up in my backyard this whole time? I find this hard to believe. I never even watch Survivor, like literally never seen a single episode. I know thats crazy and I must be some kind of psycho if I'm not watching that show but whatever. And I even watch other shit on tv just like survivor but somehow never checked it out. Needless to say that might have to change starting this season. This girl is a smoke. Miss Maine in 2009 speaks for itself. But let me tell you the two things that don't speak for themselves. The things that really stand out to me. First of all this girl was raised on a pig farm. Please. I'm not calling her a liar, but I can't think of another way to finish this sentence. Maybe her family had pigs but I highly doubt she was getting her hands dirty plowing pig shit all morning. That is the privilege of looking like Ashley does.You don't have to pick up pig shit. You just don't. Its like god molded this girl and gave her all the right genes and what that adds up to is a get out of picking up pig shit free card. Simple as that. These girls almost have to be born on a farm just so they have that farm girl sexy vibe for the rest of their modeling careers, which I'm cool with. Run with that girl, I dig it, but please don't tell me you got your hands dirty with the hogs. The second and most obvious issue I have with this story is that she traveled the world playing pro basketball. What?? Where? When? How? Why? That girl was playing pro basketball and the WNBA is tanking? How have they mismanaged this so badly. When I am forced to see women's professional basketball on the news it should be about Ashely here, not whether Taurasi's PED chargers were cleared.