Did we scare the shit out of Crawford already?

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein said he employed "a bad figure of speech" when he said the Red Sox checked out Carl Crawford "as if we were privately investigating him" before signing the free-agent outfielder last December.

Crawford said Tuesday that he was "creeped out a little bit" when Epstein told him that the club had monitored him, not only on the field, but off the field, in the months before signing him.

"I thought that was a little weird," Crawford said Tuesday. "I guess that's what they have to do when they're making that kind of investment."

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Is this serious? Like I saw the headline and figured it was a joke right away. Like when on sportscenter right before commercial Josh Elliot says, "when we return, see which Patriot called Tom Brady a dork." And I'm like sweet dude. Did Deion Branch say TB12 studies harder than anyone on the team so he is a dork in that way? Cool story. I figured this was the same thing. 'Red Sox creeped out Crawford.' Of course we did, like we creeped him out how good we are, or how persuasive our front office can be, something like that right Carl? Nope. Turns out Theo had private detectives up in Crawford's shit for the second half of last season, and now the dude can't even enter his fucking house without being paranoid. Don't get me wrong, Theo is in the right here. He was just doing his job, and it was obviously just our scouts, but don't tell Crawford I said that. I read through the whole article waiting for him to be like, 'oh I'm just playing I know they were doing their job and I was doing mine.' but that part never came. Like he is flat out scared right now, looking over his shoulder all day. Always aware of his 100 yard radius. How is this fucking guy supposed to bat when he thinks everyone in the Fenway bleachers is Jason fucking Borne.