When people parallel park like complete FUCKS in the city. Street parking is bad enough, anyone who has ever had to deal with it can attest. You come home from work and you just want to be inside but you have to circle the block eight times before you find a spot for your car. Street cleanings at least once a week. Don't even think about giving up your spot on Sundays, don't even leave the house.
So when I come down the road and see a spot open right in front of my place but it's really a fake spot, not big enough for any car in the world, because some asshole didn't pull all the way up to the corner of a driveway, it sends me into a blind rage.
This isn't a Larry David thing where you park over the line, then I have to park over the line, then you leave, and now I look like the asshole. It is pretty clear on every curb in the world where the cars should be parallel parked. Don't be such a cock and hog two spaces. If you do this I reserve the right to slash your tires, piss in your gas tank, and kill your first born.
Editors update: I told a cold blooded lie when I said I am coming home from work. I do not have a job, nor have I ever had a job. The reality is I need mayo from the 7/11 so I can have tuna for the 16th day in a row, but instead of walking the three blocks to the store I decide to drive because god forbid I exercise. Then I come back and my spot is gone.
"You come home from work"...that is rich
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