Charlie Sheen has found the love of his life

Source - The woman who stole the Warlock's heart is 24-year-old Brett Rossi -- who he's only been dating for the past couple of weeks. 

But Sheen says he's downright smitten -- telling TMZ:

"I've been on a lifelong journey, a 1000 century quest, in search of the better and missing half of my heart and my brane (sic)."

"That expedition is now (rated) 'a major success' and beyond the valley of dunn-ski complete. The MaSheen wins again."


Listen, I don't take a single thing Chuck says seriously. He probably won't remember he said a word of this when he comes down off his coke high, and I'd probably say some shit too if I was staring at those tits all day. 

But there are a few things here I just LOVE in no particular order. 

1) hes looking for the better half of his brane. I'm going to believe that is not a TMZ typo and actually somehow the way Chuck spells brain. 

2) hes been on a 1000 century quest. That's 100,000 years! Maybe shots of tequila in between whip its is the real apple a day that leads to a long life.

3) calling yourself the MaSheen is beyond flawless.