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You can’t make this stuff up. On Sunday, with swaths of eastern China shrouded in a polluted haze, Chinese state media decided to release a list of five “surprising benefits” of smog. Here, courtesy of Wang Lei, an editor for China Central Television’s website, are five good things about bad air:
1. It unifies the Chinese people.
2. It makes China more equal.
3. It raises citizen awareness of the cost of China’s economic development.
4. It makes people funnier.
5. It makes people more knowledgeable (of things like meteorology and the English word haze).
As a citizen of LA now, this was thrilling news. When I go outside, very rare, and can barely breath this LA air I was thinking it was bad for me this whole time. Like an idiot. Thank god China is here to straighten me out. Look at number four. It makes people funnier. If that's not the greatest spin on pollution I don't know what is. Also, think about how un-funny I must have been before I moved here. No wonder I couldn't get any girls. How the fuck was I supposed to make a chick laugh breathing fresh air? These are disadvantages a guy like me can't overcome.
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